Cold as Ice
by Arcane-Boomeus
Summary: Misery had a rough life. But he persevered and became the Pokemon champion. He was the nerdy sort, until the League said they could help. Lotta good that did.
1. Chapter 1: Misery Loves Company

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, Nintendo, Game Freak, the Pokémon Company, Belgium, the value of pi, or you. I do own any characters I happen to decide to make/kill, and their personalities.  
LOVE AND PEACE**

Cold as Ice: Misery Loves Company

I laughed and said "Bitch, you don't know who you're fucking with. I have a box o' 7.62 high velocity with your bitch-ass name on it." I smiled as I heard the reply "FUCK YOU!" He leapt up and charged at me, and I tossed a knife into his chest. He staggered and fell forward, making the knife stick all the way through him. I picked up my RPK and shot him in the head, blood and gray matter flying everywhere. I chuckled and said "Bitch"

**A few hours later**

"If you didn't already know, I'm Your Worst Nightmare- my name's Misery- I am coming to kill you. You won't know when or where, but I will hunt each of you down and kill you. And there is nothing anyone can do about it." I chuckled as I said "That's good Charizard, you can stop filming now." She roared and nodded, and I said "Sometimes I really wish I understood what you were saying" She rubbed her head against me, and Sceptile said "Next we go after this Salem guy. Blond hair, green eyes, 6ft 4in, crazy as fuck" I nodded, and Gardevoir said "Voir garde voir Gardevoir" Sceptile chuckled and I asked "What? What did she say?" Sceptile laughed and said "Somebody's got the hots for you" I blushed, and Charizard let out a sound that I thought was laughter- a kind of low growl. Lucario walked in and said "You look embarrassed. Did Gardevoir finally tell you how she-"

He was cut off by Gardevoir slapping him, and She shouted "GARDE GARDEVOIR VOIR GARDE!" Sceptile was lying on the floor laughing his ass off, and I said "Shut up! I need to steal some translators." Gardevoir giggled and asked "Gardevoir? Garde garde voir voir garde Gardevoir?" I shrugged and said "If you just asked 'For me? Do you really want to understand what I'm saying that much?' then yes. Otherwise I have no idea" She blushed and ran off, and Lucario said "Wow, she's really excited." I nodded and said "I hope she doesn't do something rash" I heard Mightyena yelp, and I shouted "Watch where you're going Gardevoir" She shouted back "VOIR GARDE GARDEVOIR" I smiled as Mightyena walked in and whimpered, and I said "Yeah, she's a klutz, but I love her…" He licked my face and I said "You can't make me not love her by licking my face. Sorry" He hung his head and walked to Sceptile, who scratched him between his ears.

Lucario started teasing me about Gardevoir, and I shouted "LOPUNNY! LUCARIO HAS SOMETHING HE WANTS TO TELL YOU!" Lopunny giggled and walked in, and Lucario gave me a glare that said 'You sly bastard' I chuckled and Lopunny asked "What?" She blushed as she noticed Lucario looked nervous, and she slinked closer, swaying her hips seductively and asking "What did you want to say to me baby?" She winked, and he said "I… Um…" She smiled and asked "Yes?" He stammered and I said "He loves you" He nodded, and she said "Oh. I thought he wanted to wrestle" Lucario fell over, and Lopunny said "I'm kidding. Come into my room and we can wrestle all night long" Sceptile scowled and said "It's 6:30 in the afternoon!" Lopunny nodded and said "I know what time it is" I laughed and Gardevoir came running back, a pair of earrings in her hands.

I frowned and asked "Where did you run off to?" she tackled me and said "Voir voir garde voir Gardevoir voir garde" I frowned and she grabbed my face, then stuck an earring on my left ear and said "Some genius you are." I chuckled and said "That hurts babe" She giggled and slipped the other one on, then said "You can finally understand me…" I nodded and said "Yeah. Nice to see you're as excited as I am" She laughed and kissed me, then said "Don't be a jerk"

Charizard laughed and said "Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month." I facepalmed and asked "Is she always like this?" Sceptile nodded, and I said "No wonder you guys always seemed pissed around her" She looked hurt, and Mightyena said "Make your bitch girlfriend apologize for stepping on my paw"

I chuckled and said "That was unnecessary, and Gardevoir, you should apologize" Gardevoir hung her head said "I'm sorry Mightyena. I was just so excited…" Mightyena nodded and said "I shouldn't have called you a slut" I frowned and said "You didn't call her a slut" Mightyena nodded and said "You're a slut." I facepalmed and said "That's not what I meant" He laughed and said "I know- that's why it was funny" Gardevoir looked sad, and I said "I love you babe, don't listen to him" She nodded, and I looked down at my hands and thought _"Wow, it's still strange that I'm half Glaceon…"_ I frowned at my pale blue skin and the song 'Cold as Ice' came to mind and said "He's crazy anyways. Don't listen to him."

She laughed and said "I think it's cute that you're half Glaceon" I smiled and said "I'm like Vanilla Ice, only fresher" Gardevoir laughed and said "I want a name." I nodded and said "Hope. Hope and Misery- We balance each other out" She smiled Sceptile said "I hate to break up the love-fest, but we have a person to kill" I nodded and said "Alright. Let's go" I scooped up my .45 and walked to the exit of our little bunker- shelter from the rest of the pokemorph hating world.

**A few hours later**

I frowned and lined up the cross-hairs of the rifle with the blue freak's head and smiled- I pulled the trigger and closed my eyes, but instead of a "GAH!" I heard a "He's over there", then a gunshot. I chuckled as the blood seeped from my throat, and said "You're monsters- you don't deserve to live" The freak laughed and said "You disgust me- I wasn't even born this way. YOUR bosses did this to me! I was the champion, and they said that they could make me stronger, faster, not the wimpy nerd I was before. They fused my DNA with a Glaceon's. I don't have any powers or anything- just an abnormally low core body temperature and blue skin" I laughed and said "You're still a freak, I bet your mother was a prostitute and your father was a pimp that killed her for giving birth to such a freak" He smiled and asked "Then what were yours?"

**_BANG!_**

**The next day, around 4 a.m.**

I smiled at the sleeping form of Hope, and said "Wake up doll" She pretended to still be sleeping, and I kissed her. She smiled and sighed "Took ya long enough" I laughed and said "Quit nagging me woman. I'll cuddle you so long you'll get frostbite!" I wrapped my arms around her, and she said "AH! You're colder than usual... Maybe... Do you think you're getting powers?" I shrugged and said "I have no idea. I could try and use a move, I guess" She nodded and said "Misery use Ice Beam!" I inhaled deeply and something... Clicked- I fired a column of ice and said "That was cool!" She kissed me and thought _"As long as we're in contact, we can communicate telepathically"_ I smiled and thought _"We have a few hours until the others wake up, I'd like to be in physical contact for as long as possible"_ She giggled and said "As you wish"

**A few hours later**

I smiled as Sceptile shouted "QUIT HAVING SEX AND CAME ON!" Hope looked at me and thought "We don't need physical contact anymore, from our..." She giggled and blushed, and I thought "I hope I didn't freeze your insides" She laughed and I said "You heard the 'Mon, let's go" I got up and tossed her her dress- I realized that she wasn't the normal color of a Gardevoir- Her her hair blue, and her eyes matched my skin. I smiled and said "You're not the normal colors of a Gardevoir, at least your hair and eyes aren't" She nodded and said "You're not the normal colors for a human. Your eyes are brown like normal, but your skin is pale blue" I smiled and said "You're making me want to have another go with you" She smiled and said "Good, that was my intention" I jumped onto her and licked her cheek, then said "Okay, I just licked your face. And it was delicious"

**About noon**

I smiled and sidled closer to Hope, then said "That last guy would've killed me if you hadn't used Protect, Lucario. Thanks" Lucario shrugged and said "Wasn't me" Sceptile laughed and said "I didn't do it" Hope laughed and said "You're half Glaceon. You must have used Mirror Coat" I smiled and said "Cool. That explains the bleeding from his neck." Sceptile nodded and said "Indeed. AND NEXT TIME I WAKE YOU UP, QUIT FUCKING FUCKING!" I laughed and Lucario said "Sorry" Lopunny giggled and Hope said "Us too" Lucario laughed and I said "We could move to Johto. There's nothing about any of us that's illegal there. And the champion there- that Boomeus guy- has a half Gardevoir wife and helps people like us" Sceptile shook his head and said "I wish. But the other regions are allowed to hunt down fugitives that cross the border. We're stuck here" I nodded and said "So be it. We keep on fighting until something works." Lucario nodded and said "I agree. Fight or flight- flight is impossible, so we fight!" Hope shrugged and asked "Why don't I just teleport us out and past the border?" We all facepalmed, and I said "That solves that dilemma"

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**PLEASE review and read**

**PEACE OUT**

**Arcane-Boomeus**


	2. Chapter 2: Immigration

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon, Nintendo, Game Freak, The Pokémon Company, or any other affiliates.**

**I do own my characters and their personalities.**

Chapter 2: Immigration

I smiled and said "Alright Hope, take us to freedom!" She nodded and grabbed my hand as I returned the rest of my Pokémon to their balls, and I said "With my champion money I can buy us a house and other stuff like that." She nodded and said "Close your eyes" I did as she said, and she kissed me. I felt weightlessness and thought _"What the hell?"_ But it was over as soon as it began, and Hope said "We're here"

I smiled and saw a Gallade and a Gardevoir- the Gallade was half human and asked "Do you have a gun?" I nodded and he said "Then go through the border. We use a loophole to get people from other regions in; if the border person feels intimidated then they can let you past" I chuckled and said "That's clever. I like this place already" The Gallade nodded and said "I'm Ian and this is my wife Rachel" Rachel laughed and said "And I'm his wife Rachel!" I chuckled and said "I'm Misery." Hope lumped in front of me and said "And I'm Hope!" I smiled and Ian said "Go immigrate, and then we'll talk more" I laughed and said "Fine"

**Fifteen minutes later**

I smiled and said "Kick-ass, I don't have to worry about the League anymore" He nodded and said "You're a champion, correct?" I nodded and he said "My brother-in-law beat all four leagues, and then came back here. I think he may go to the new Isshu region" I smiled and said "I don't remember much about my life before they made me a freak" Ian frowned and said "That hurts my feelings man" I chuckled and said "I was human, but now I… I'm a…" He smiled and said "Pokemorph. We're called Pokemorphs" I nodded and he said "But isn't it cool having powers?" I shrugged and said "I don't really have much- I used them for the first time yesterday" He nodded and said "If you'd like, there's a house for sale next to ours, and you could train with us." I looked at Hope, who nodded and said "Sounds great!" I smiled and said "You heard the gal. Let's go!"

**A few hours later**

I frowned and asked "Why'd we walk here instead of teleporting?" Ian smiled and said "We've never been here before. Neither have you." I continued to frown and asked "Why not teleport to your house?" Ian laughed and said "Cuz I didn't feel like it" Hope laughed, and Rachel said "You get used to it" I nodded and asked "Who owns this place anyways?"

Rachel laughed and said "We do." Ian smiled and said "We built the other and bought this in case we screwed the one we built up" Hope laughed and I said "Makes sense. Kind of" Rachel laughed and said "Yeah. We know." Ian smiled and asked "You wanna buy the house?" I shrugged and asked "How much?" He scratched his chin and said "Hm. $27 and a hug from Hope" I frowned and asked "What?" He smiled and said "You heard me" I nodded and said "But why do you want a hug?" He shrugged and said "Because I'm crazy as hell" I nodded and said "I can tell" He laughed and asked "Do ya want it or not" I nodded and said "Here's $27,000" He laughed and said "I want $27. We're rich as hell, we need less money- especially if Boomeus becomes champion if Isshu" I shrugged and said "Here's $27" He smiled and said "Thank you kind sir. Here are the keys!" He tossed me two pairs of keys, and I handed Hope a pair, and she said "Wow, this place is so much less bunker-y"

I smiled and said "Yeah. Let's see what everyone else thinks" I hit the buttons on my Pokéballs and released everyone. Ian facepalmed and said "Everyone has a Lucario ever since Boomeus made Lucario seem like a badass- he is, but now they're everywhere." Lucario frowned and said "I could kick his ass any day!" Ian laughed and said "He's at least twice as strong as me. And I could wipe the walls with you" Lucario pounced and Ian caught him, and then literally wiped the walls with him. I laughed and said "Owned." Lucario growled, and Ian said "I warned you. Don't start a fight unless you're sure you can finish it" I noticed the venom in his voice, and said "Charizard, you should tell everyone a joke" Charizard smiled and said "I have a good one..."

**A few hours later**

I smiled as Ian said "See you tomorrow. I think Hope's got her hopes up for a dose o' Misery" I blushed and Hope giggled nervously. Lucario growled and Mightyena licked his face, making him laugh. Lopunny was still amazed by the fact that she and Lucario got their own room, and she was waiting for him. Ian and Rachel waved, and Rachel said "BE SURE TO USE A CONDOM!" I blushed and Hope said "Okay!" She kissed me and used Psychic to close the door, and Lucario said "I don't like that guy" I chuckled and said "Really? Couldn't tell" He growled and I said "Lopunny's waiting for you" He instantly cheered up, and I said "See! All you need is love; all you need is love, love. Love is all you'll ever need!" Hope laughed and kissed me- to shut me up.

Lucario ran to their new room, and Sceptile laughed and said "It's nice to not be wanted" I chuckled and said "Indeed" Mightyena nodded, and Hope said "I hope Lucario and Lopunny don't get too loud" I laughed and said "Yeah, I hope we don't get too loud…" Hope laughed and said "We will. I'll make sure of it" She went from cute and nervous to 'I'm gonna ride you so hard…', but I wasn't complaining. Sceptile laughed and said "Wow, she may rape you. Wouldn't have expected that two days ago- quite the opposite, in fact. All because you couldn't understand her"

I shrugged and heard Ian's voice saying _"Tonight. Kiss Hope's chest spike. You'll love it"_ I frowned and Hope asked _"Was that Ian?"_ I nodded and thought _"I think so, but I have no idea what he meant"_ Hope blushed and replied _"I do"_ I frowned and asked _"What?"_ She smiled and replied _"You'll see" _I chuckled and said "I'll guess I'll find out" Sceptile asked "What?" I smiled and said "I don't know" He facepalmed and said "I'm taking Mightyena for a walk" Mightyena giggled and said "Yay!" I frowned and asked "Are you a female?" Mightyena frowned and asked "Did you not know?" I shrugged and said "Without these you sound pretty manly. But I just realized that you seemed really girly and figured I'd wonder forever until I asked Sceptile if you guys were gay together. But you're not"

Sceptile chuckled and said "You figured us out" I nodded and said "Have a nice 'walk'! Hope, you wanna take a 'walk' with me?" She nodded and said "Of course" I chuckled and said "Let's go!" She smiled and said "But you should take Ian's advice" I nodded and said "By your command"

**I rather fancy these new characters. And Sceptile x Mightyena FTW! And I just realized… No violence…Weep**

**Peace out Dog!**

**Arcane-Boomeus**


	3. Insayne

**Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Game Freak, Pokémon, or The Pokémon Company; however, I do own my characters and their personalities.**

Chapter 3: Insayne

Hope sighed and said "That was great" I kissed her and asked "Ya think we drowned out Lucario and Lopunny?" She shook her head and said "You can't drown out a gunshot with a pop gun" I laughed and thought _"Feisty, but let's sleep now…"_ Hope giggled and pressed as close to me as she could get, then wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her forehead against mine. As we drifted to sleep, she said "You need a new name. Misery doesn't suit you" I smiled and said "Hope suits you perfectly" She yawned and projected _"I'm gonna call you Insayne from now on"_ I smiled as we drifted off to sleep.

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Sceptile banged on the door and said "Wakey wakey, hands off snakey! And I'm talking to you, Hope!" Hope blushed and said "I wasn't holding your…" She looked down and said "Oh. I guess I was. Whoopsies" I facepalmed and said "Let's go take a shower" She smiled and projected _"But we'll end up dirty again"_ I grinned and said "That's a risk I'm willing to take"

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Hope shivered and said "Y-you t-take c-cold sh-showers" I kissed her and said "That was nice" She glared at me and said "Ice" I chuckled and said "You used that like it's a curse word" She nodded and said "It is now. Insayne, you're crazy" I facepalmed and said "You're still calling me that?" She nodded and said "I'm your sanity, so try to _not_ freeze my nipples off" I blushed and said "You know you loved that" She kissed me and asked "And?" I grinned and said "I'll try to be warmer"

She nodded and said "Help me find a blanket" I laughed and said "Better. Charizard!" Charizard ran in, and noticed Hope's teeth chattering, then pulled her into a big hug. Hope sighed happily and said "Thanks Charizard." Charizard smiled and said "It's what I do" I laughed and said "I'd hug you, but I might die" She laughed and said "I understand." I kissed her on the cheek, and yelped at her fiery face's touch. Hope facepalmed and said "You are driving me insane, Insayne"

I laughed and hugged her, then asked "Do I have a tail? I feel like there's something growing out of my lower back" She walked behind me and stuck her hand in my pants, then felt around for a bit and said "Nope, but I found an Ekans" I blushed and Charizard said "I'm gonna go bother Sceptile" She darted out of the room. I laughed and said "You did that to get rid of her." She nodded and said "I didn't want to hear a bad joke. Sorry if I got you all excited again" I shook my head and said "Didn't even notice" She raised an eyebrow and asked "Is that so?" I nodded and she said "Try and not notice this!" She tackled me and I said "Here we go, getting all dirty again" She giggled and projected "We're taking a warmer shower next time"

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Lopunny sat in a very amused Lucario's lap, while Sceptile told us off for not being awake at the moment he was or something; Charizard stood behind him, mimicking his every action. Mightyena lay beside Hope and I on the couch, fighting to stay awake. Lopunny snickered after Charizard's imitation of Sceptile wagging a finger, and Sceptile turned to see Charizard standing at attention- she saluted him, and he facepalmed. All but Sceptile, Mightyena, and Charizard (Who still stood at attention) were in stitches- Including me.

Hope leaned over onto my chest, giggling like mad- I kissed her to shut her up, and she projected _"Thanks, I needed that"_ I nodded and Lucario said "Misery, you-" Hope cut him of with a glare and said "Use his real name" Lucario fearfully nodded and restarted "Insayne, you and Hope need to stop randomly having sex, it's annoying to walk into a room, just to have to walk back out and hang a sock on the knob" Hope facepalmed and said "Of course! That explains the socks on all the doorknobs!"

I blushed and Lopunny said "Just do it in your own room and the shower, Lucario and I seem fine with those" Hope smiled and said "We'll try, but you know how he is" I raised an eyebrow and said "You initiate it every time! You reached into my pants" She giggled and said "I reached into your pants and wrangled an Ekans! Who am I to know that Ekans can learn harden?" Mightyena looked at us and said "You guys are sex crazed maniacs"

Sceptile nodded and Charizard said "But the joke's on you and Sceptile, because I slipped a Viagra into his drink!" Sceptile frowned and asked "The one I didn't drink yet?" Charizard facepalmed and said "No, the other one" Sceptile nodded and said "Good" He downed his drink, and Mightyena muttered "And I picked him for his intellect" Sceptile's eyes shot open and he said "Oh shit."

He looked down and I covered my eyes, just listening. Hope asked "Is that it? Wow, that's tiny" Mightyena laughed and replied "No, that's just the tip" Hope gasped and said "Holy shit! That's huge!" Mightyena laughed and said "Told you so" I grimaced and thought _"If I don't look, I'll be curious forever"_ I lifted my hands away from my eyes, and sighed with relief as I saw a tail- _"Wait. WHAT?"_ I realized that the tail matched my skin, and Hope asked "Why'd your tail come in _now?_ That's random. Oh, maybe when I rubbed against that spot it allowed it to.. Err, sprout!"

I shrugged and said "It better not get in the way of anything" Hope giggled and said "You could wear it like a belt if it bothers you too much" I frowned and said "No, I'll just tickle you with it" I wagged it under her chin, making her giggle. We were interrupted by a knock at the door-Sceptile answered it, and Ian asked "Did you kiss the spike, Misery old chap?"

Hope glared at him, and he flinched- she frowned and said "There is no Misery here. _This_ is Insayne" Rachel stepped in, giggled, and said "Indeed it is" Ian raised an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged. Rachel ran over and sat beside Hope, and they started giggling and whispering. I walked over to Ian and said "You almost got me stabbed by Hope's chest spike" He frowned and asked "Why Insayne?" I shrugged and said "I'm not sure, but I'm not brave enough to ask" Ian smiled and said "Smart man" I laughed and Lucario warily walked over- Ian smiled and pulled him into a hug, then said "It's Random Hug Day!"

Ian raised an eyebrow and asked "Are you and Lopunny together, or is she just in secret love with you?" Lucario frowned and said "We're mates" Ian smiled and said "She's thinking about you" He blushed and I thought aloud "Maybe Hope's just PMS or something…" Ian chuckled and said "She's in heat, hence the random sex" I nodded and said "Oh thank God, it's starting to hurt" Lucario chuckled and said "You could use your tail next time- they love that" Ian raised an eyebrow and asked "Getting freaky already?" Lucario smiled and said "Why not?" Ian grinned and said "Touché"

I frowned as I thought I heard a voice, and asked "Did you guys hear that?" Ian shook his head and Lucario said "I don't see any auras other than the ones we know" I frowned and said "I could have sworn I heard something-" The voice cut me off **"You did"** I jumped and Ian asked "What?" I frowned and said "Someone just talked to me" The voice spoke again **"I'm a girl, say 'She talked to me', so you don't hurt my feelings" **I frowned and asked "Who are you?" Another, demonic voice said **"We only want your souls"** The first voice laughed and said **"I want the Gardevoir- both of them" **Ian frowned and said "You're not having either" Lucario nodded and I asked "You can hear them too?" They both nodded.

From the other room, Lopunny shrieked and Lucario shouted "STAY AWAY FROM HER!" He used ExtremeSpeed and dashed in. Ian nodded and said "Stay on your toes" We walked in, only to see several translucent figures attacking the others- Sceptile and Mightyena turned to face Rachel and Hope, and Hope said "Ghost and Dark type attacks!" Hope fired a Shadow Ball into the midst of their assailants, and the demonic voice shrieked **"OW!" **The first voice said **"Sweetie, you deserved that" ** Rachel smiled and said "Angie and Banette!" A Banette and a sexy Mismagius pokemorph stepped forward, and I said "She's half-human!" Ian nodded and said "So are you and I. It's not that rare, quit being surprised by it."

Hope frowned and said "Sorry about that" Banette smiled and said "It's okay… You're really beautiful, you know" Angie smiled and said "Sorry, but you're both taken" Banette blushed and said "Ah, Insayne the handsome Glaceon pokemorph" I frowned and asked "Handsome?" She nodded and Hope said "You got his name right!"

Charizard seemed awestruck by Angie, who asked "Enjoying the view?" Charizard blushed and shook her head. Angie raised an eyebrow and said "Then you won't mind if I do this" She lifted her skirt, and Charizard fell onto her face. Angie laughed and said "I've got a friend who'd like you, if you're interested" Banette smiled and said "We can teach her the ways" Charizard blushed and looked at me curiously, and I said "As long as you're happy, I am too. Just promise me that you won't tell any jokes on your first date with this mysterious person." She frowned and I said "Kidding. Just visit us sometime, okay?" She nodded and Angie said "That's so precious…" Banette smiled and said "Let's adopt her!" Angie looked questioningly at me, and I said "Lucario, give her a hug for me" He nodded and hugged Charizard.

I pulled her ball from my belt and tossed it to Angie- she tossed it into the air and hit it with a Shadow Ball. Charizard was cloaked in a harsh blue light, and then freed. She shook herself like she was getting water off of her body, then said "That was… Different" Ian looked at me and projected into my mind once again _"I was really worried for a bit, lucky it was Angie and Banette, huh?"_ I nodded and Hope projected _"Insayne?"_ I turned and asked _"Yes honey?"_ She smiled nervously and asked _"Would you… No, it's stupid, you don't-"_ I frowned and replied _"Just ask"_ She nodded and asked _"Will you be my mate?"_ I frowned and projected _"I thought I already was" _She shook her head and Ian broke in _"You've done the deed, but a mating bond is more complicated- at the same moment, you have to let your emotions pour into each other."_

Hope nodded and looked questioningly into my eyes; I kissed her and said "I'd say we should do it now, but it's starting to hurt." Hope giggled and said "Sissy" I chucked and asked "What was it, six or seven times? Excuse me for not having balls of steel" Hope smiled and Ian asked "Six or seven?" Hope laughed and said "Seven and a half" Ian and I both asked "And a half?" She smiled and said "When we made out in our second shower, I got a little hot under the collar and…" I laughed and said "Hence the half. But as soon as I can feel my balls, consider us mates"

Rachel heard our conversation and asked "Why was I left out of the fun conversation? I'm hurt, deeply" Hope blushed and Ian said "Because you'd probably start making out with Hope" Rachel and Hope both blushed, and Rachel said "I'll be a good girl" Hope nodded and said "Yeah, she'll behave…" Hope stood up and kissed Rachel, and Ian chuckled, then said "They're plotting on you…" I frowned and started to ask what he meant, when Hope smiled and said "Thanks Rachel. C'mon big boy" I blushed and Ian said "Take an Ibuprofen afterwards, and have her try and soothe it with Recover or something" Hope nodded and Lopunny asked "Is Hope a bisexual?" Ian laughed and said "No, she's just trying to get laid. That came out wrong, huh?" Lucario laughed and nodded, and Sceptile said "They want a mating bond, but Mis-" Hope glared at him, and He continued "Insayne can't get a boner because they had sex too many times." Lopunny giggled and I said "Not funny. It hurts."

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Hope smiled as we walked into the living room, and I said "This is my mate. Her name is Hope. I'm gonna go die now" Lucario and Ian laughed, and Lopunny asked "You're not really gonna die, are you?" Sceptile frowned and said "It's a good thing she's cute" Lopunny heard this comment, and proceeded to whoop his ass. Mightyena laughed and Rachel said "Calm down Lopunny! You might hurt yourself, and Lucario wouldn't enjoy that. Actually, he seems like a freak, so do as you want." Ian laughed and I weakly said "Stop it, or I'll freeze both of you solid." Lopunny scratched her chin, considering whether it was worth it.

Hope asked "Where's Charizard and the ghosts?" Ian smiled and said "They left about fifteen minutes ago. And you owe Rachel something" Hope frowned and Rachel giggled, then hugged her. Hope frowned and said "The deal was $27 and a hug."

I groaned and Rachel said "I had to help Ian with that once" She placed her palm on Hope's forehead, and Hope said "_Oh_, alright" She placed her hand on my crotch and said "Relax" I nodded and did, and her hand started glowing purple. I felt as if the pain drained away, and asked "What're you doing down there?" She smiled and said "Using Psychic to massage your insides." I raised an eyebrow and said "That's what that is" She nodded and asked "Better?" I nodded and said "Much" She grinned and said "Now use Psychic" I frowned and asked "How in hell am I supposed to do that?"

She grinned and said "You'll do it… Because I _do _bite" She slowly moved her head towards my crotch, playfully snapping her jaws. I yelped and released a blast of energy, throwing her back into Rachel's waiting arms. She giggled and kissed Rachel on the cheek, then said "Thanks" Rachel smiled and nodded, then tossed her onto the couch beside me. I frowned and said "I'm sorry…" She hugged me and said "If you didn't do it, I was really gonna bite you. So don't be guilty. Be amazed that you just blasted me across the room with Psychic" I raised an eyebrow and asked "Is there some side effect of the fixing of my balls I wasn't told about?" She laughed and said "It's the mating bond, silly"

I frowned and said "So I became psychic. Through sex. With you… Awesome" She blushed and said "I guess that makes you a-" Rachel grinned and interjected "SEX WIZARD!" Hope smiled and Ian said "Sweetheart, I think she was actually going for sex _pistol_ or sex _bomb_" Hope projected _"My little sex wizard…"_ I facepalmed and Lucario said "Well whaddaya know. Insayne's a sex wizard" Mightyena laughed and said "You're a wizard, Harry. And a damn good one, too" Sceptile chuckled and said "Come to Genitalwarts school of sexcraft and sex wizardry" Ian chuckled and said "Enough with the sex wizardry."

**((((()))))((((()))))((((()))))((((()))))((((()))))**

Hope hugged me and said "I wuv you" I kissed her and said "I don't care if you're a four-year-old at heart, I love you too" She laughed and said "I'm not four! I'm a mature Gardevoir" She twirled and said "I'm at least one." I smiled and said "You're only a Gardevoir because I trained you- you mature much faster in the care of a trainer than in the wild" She grinned and kissed me, then said "You look like you need a Nevermeltice" I frowned and asked "A what?" She pulled out a piece of ice and said "It never melts. It's magical or something, it'll power up your ice attacks"

I grinned and said "Thanks… I think. But-" There was a knock on our bedroom door, and Hope said "Reach out with your mind, and tell Sceptile to come in" I chuckled and extended my thoughts to his, and projected "Come in" The door opened, and Sceptile said "There's something I want to tell you." I nodded and said "Okay." He nodded and started "Mightyena and I… We're…" I smiled and said "Assholes" Hope giggled and said "Royalty" Mightyena walked in and said "He's looking for the word 'leaving'. He's just lost his tongue." Sceptile nodded and said "That's why I love her. She's clever and sexy" Mightyena laughed and said "Kissass"

Hope smiled and said "Mightyena, take care of him- he may be an ass, but he's our ass" She smiled and I said "Now begone, Cynica and Asshole" Mightyena laughed and said "I'm assuming I'm Cynica" I nodded and said "Those are my gifts to you." Asshole frowned and said "I'm just gonna stay Sceptile, thanks"

Hope kissed me and we waved as Cynica and Sceptile left. But what we didn't know was that we'd be seeing them again, very soon…

**I'm grinning right now as I write this, thinking about ASL3. And they are evil thoughts.**

**Please review and shit.**

**Arcane-Boomeus**


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